[[Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song
Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true]]
I wish i didn't like boys.
They make everything difficult.
24.9.06
22.9.06
Listening
I have recently disovered the art of Listening.
With me thats an enormous feat. But i'm sure its hard for other people too.
Today i got the chance to talk to one of the custodians at our school. His names "mo". He's the funniest, oldest, possibly biggest, middle eastern Guy you will ever meet. Most students don't talk to Mo. He's usually sort of camouflague with his blue janitor's uniform on.But i like to talk to Mo. He always says nice things like "have a good day" or "Hope your weekend was well" and its funny in that middle eastern accent of his.
Mo grew up in Damascus Syria. Ruled by a dictator Mo and his family had no freedoms. So when he was in Highschool he fled to a country in Europe. That country was a communist country so Mo had almost no more freedoms than when he lived in Damascus. So they gave him a choice. "you follow our country or you leave" and Mo left. He came to America. Got his Visa and went to college to be a lab technician. He has three kids. All three graduated from Memorial. the highschool that he lives to keep clean. They have one granddaughter who Mo loves very much. Although He hardly ever sees her. Mo also told us about his love of travel. Hes been to Alot of countries. and he's been to every continent except for Austrailia and Antartica. And when he retires, "very soon", Mo hopes to travel to Austrailia.
Mo talked to Us about the importance of prayer and said that in Syria he was charged for a crime. His lawyers told him that there was no way out of the three year sentence. Yet Mo prayed and prayed and prayed and surprisingly The Judge listened to him and dismissed his case. Mo accredits the whole thing to God.
Its cool just listening to people and finding out about thier life. Its something i want to do more often. Its good just to sit with someone and listen to them without making them feel like your rushed and need to be somewhere.
I learned alot from Mo today : about listening, and prayer, and how hard life was during the time he was my age.
<3
With me thats an enormous feat. But i'm sure its hard for other people too.
Today i got the chance to talk to one of the custodians at our school. His names "mo". He's the funniest, oldest, possibly biggest, middle eastern Guy you will ever meet. Most students don't talk to Mo. He's usually sort of camouflague with his blue janitor's uniform on.But i like to talk to Mo. He always says nice things like "have a good day" or "Hope your weekend was well" and its funny in that middle eastern accent of his.
Mo grew up in Damascus Syria. Ruled by a dictator Mo and his family had no freedoms. So when he was in Highschool he fled to a country in Europe. That country was a communist country so Mo had almost no more freedoms than when he lived in Damascus. So they gave him a choice. "you follow our country or you leave" and Mo left. He came to America. Got his Visa and went to college to be a lab technician. He has three kids. All three graduated from Memorial. the highschool that he lives to keep clean. They have one granddaughter who Mo loves very much. Although He hardly ever sees her. Mo also told us about his love of travel. Hes been to Alot of countries. and he's been to every continent except for Austrailia and Antartica. And when he retires, "very soon", Mo hopes to travel to Austrailia.
Mo talked to Us about the importance of prayer and said that in Syria he was charged for a crime. His lawyers told him that there was no way out of the three year sentence. Yet Mo prayed and prayed and prayed and surprisingly The Judge listened to him and dismissed his case. Mo accredits the whole thing to God.
Its cool just listening to people and finding out about thier life. Its something i want to do more often. Its good just to sit with someone and listen to them without making them feel like your rushed and need to be somewhere.
I learned alot from Mo today : about listening, and prayer, and how hard life was during the time he was my age.
<3
12.9.06
10.9.06
Baptism '06
So baptism was Today.
Got up at 7. Dragged around my room. Threw on some clothes. Threw up my hair. Looked half decent for "throwing" myself together.
Had my mommy drop my tooshie off at Church where I hung out in the Hier Force room until all the little kiddies came.Danced. Danced somemore. and then finally danced one last song.
Went upstairs and slept on my anatomy book in the atrium until i heard Trace say chastity belts and then i was up and having a laughing fit. Decided i needed coffee badly. and a cinomin( i cant spell today) roll. Sat with evan bronkema. Talked to Courtney. Went downstairs and Danced somemore. Talked to Kristi. And lauren. Then led 2 and 3rd grade small group downstairs. Danced more. then Hung out with Matt, Jacob, and Beccah. (the cool rendell).
Left and went with Matt to Quizno's for lunch. Had good disscussion. ate good food. laughed a little bit. Oh and we talked about fantasy football. Someone Please explain.
then we headed to life action retreat center. and got a Spot. Right out in the open. then it rained. Steady downpour. 60 degrees. it was great! A bunch of cool people got baptized. Like Little miss Stephani Arnett and Adam Rost. and Kira. Hung out with Micah. Talked about something but i forgot. Ate food. talked to C. Mann. Ate more food. Walked. Drove home with Jen.
We had good disscussion too. Boy disscussion. It would almost be easier to have a boyfriend.
Came home. Took a long, HOT. shower. and now i'm trying to get homework done. Today was great! People professing their Love for God. And the fact that they want to change their lives and be new people. Awesome!
Hope you all have a great week!.
Lifeline starts Sunday
Got up at 7. Dragged around my room. Threw on some clothes. Threw up my hair. Looked half decent for "throwing" myself together.
Had my mommy drop my tooshie off at Church where I hung out in the Hier Force room until all the little kiddies came.Danced. Danced somemore. and then finally danced one last song.
Went upstairs and slept on my anatomy book in the atrium until i heard Trace say chastity belts and then i was up and having a laughing fit. Decided i needed coffee badly. and a cinomin( i cant spell today) roll. Sat with evan bronkema. Talked to Courtney. Went downstairs and Danced somemore. Talked to Kristi. And lauren. Then led 2 and 3rd grade small group downstairs. Danced more. then Hung out with Matt, Jacob, and Beccah. (the cool rendell).
Left and went with Matt to Quizno's for lunch. Had good disscussion. ate good food. laughed a little bit. Oh and we talked about fantasy football. Someone Please explain.
then we headed to life action retreat center. and got a Spot. Right out in the open. then it rained. Steady downpour. 60 degrees. it was great! A bunch of cool people got baptized. Like Little miss Stephani Arnett and Adam Rost. and Kira. Hung out with Micah. Talked about something but i forgot. Ate food. talked to C. Mann. Ate more food. Walked. Drove home with Jen.
We had good disscussion too. Boy disscussion. It would almost be easier to have a boyfriend.
Came home. Took a long, HOT. shower. and now i'm trying to get homework done. Today was great! People professing their Love for God. And the fact that they want to change their lives and be new people. Awesome!
Hope you all have a great week!.
Lifeline starts Sunday
1.9.06
Help!?!?!
i'm reading this book called irresistable revolution.*shane claiborne*
It's good. i like it Alot. maybe not some of the things he says. but most of them. Talks about the difference between church and "the church". Haves a chapter about him going to Callcutta India and meeting and seeing Jesus in the lepors who lived in the lepor colony. I liked that part Alot. Made me want to go back to mexico. Made me think about Mexico. and all the kids and the families and how i could see jesus in the faces of the fathers who were there and the mothers who cried and the kids who laughed and played Go! Fish with me for hours. It reminded me of how i've never felt closer to Jesus than when i was handing out bibles and food house to house. knowing that Through me God was feeding the hungry. physically with the food and spritually with the bibles.
My favorite part of the whole book so far is when he talks about how we always do things. We always send money. We always give clothes to the salvation army, and toys to the homeless shelter, and food to the food banks. We always give to organizations. and that makes us feel good makes us think that we are doing something to help and we are. But he talks about how when we do that were not getting changed. our hearts arn't being changed. Sort of like Rob and how doing things in secret for people changes you. He says to truely have your heart changed you need to experience the poor. he talks about how for some people that doesn't actually mean you give everything away and become poor. but instead you take the food, and clothes, and money to the poor and you talk with them and pray with them and see Jesus in their eyes instead of just writing a check to Feed the Children.
Thinking about Lifeline and the revolutionary theme:
Revolutionary:
1.of, pertaining to, characterized by, or of the nature of a revolution, or a sudden, complete, marked change:
2.radically new or innovative; outside or beyond established procedure, principles, etc
5.a revolutionist
This year is going to be the year i think. The year i step off the sidelines and not only be a part of the revolution but be a revolutionary. To go outside the establish procedure of church and living a "good"life and be changed.
The only problem is : How do i start.? where do i start.? whos going to be there with me when people get upset? (people will get upset. think of the all the revolutions in the past. most resulted in war. and this is a war.) What specifically do I do?
--- before i write this: this is sort of a list of goals shall i say. so keep me accountable. and if i fail at something. its okay i'm only human. (plus i can't drive yet)
I guess i start with me actions. read the bible more. I really want Galations memorized by april and start serving with the sencond saturday thing at the church.
Hopefully my friends will be there with me.
I don't think God really cares what i do. But i don't just want to give money away to some organization. I don't want to give food to the food banks and then leave. I want to look in the eyes of the homeless or the hungry and see Jesus cause thats where he lives. And hopefully in doing so God changes me. If you have any ideas on places to volunteer please tell me. and if you guys want to be a part of this "revolution" and you want to get in the game i'll be happy to have you guys be with me.
I love you All. <3
It's good. i like it Alot. maybe not some of the things he says. but most of them. Talks about the difference between church and "the church". Haves a chapter about him going to Callcutta India and meeting and seeing Jesus in the lepors who lived in the lepor colony. I liked that part Alot. Made me want to go back to mexico. Made me think about Mexico. and all the kids and the families and how i could see jesus in the faces of the fathers who were there and the mothers who cried and the kids who laughed and played Go! Fish with me for hours. It reminded me of how i've never felt closer to Jesus than when i was handing out bibles and food house to house. knowing that Through me God was feeding the hungry. physically with the food and spritually with the bibles.
My favorite part of the whole book so far is when he talks about how we always do things. We always send money. We always give clothes to the salvation army, and toys to the homeless shelter, and food to the food banks. We always give to organizations. and that makes us feel good makes us think that we are doing something to help and we are. But he talks about how when we do that were not getting changed. our hearts arn't being changed. Sort of like Rob and how doing things in secret for people changes you. He says to truely have your heart changed you need to experience the poor. he talks about how for some people that doesn't actually mean you give everything away and become poor. but instead you take the food, and clothes, and money to the poor and you talk with them and pray with them and see Jesus in their eyes instead of just writing a check to Feed the Children.
Thinking about Lifeline and the revolutionary theme:
Revolutionary:
1.of, pertaining to, characterized by, or of the nature of a revolution, or a sudden, complete, marked change:
2.radically new or innovative; outside or beyond established procedure, principles, etc
5.a revolutionist
This year is going to be the year i think. The year i step off the sidelines and not only be a part of the revolution but be a revolutionary. To go outside the establish procedure of church and living a "good"life and be changed.
The only problem is : How do i start.? where do i start.? whos going to be there with me when people get upset? (people will get upset. think of the all the revolutions in the past. most resulted in war. and this is a war.) What specifically do I do?
--- before i write this: this is sort of a list of goals shall i say. so keep me accountable. and if i fail at something. its okay i'm only human. (plus i can't drive yet)
I guess i start with me actions. read the bible more. I really want Galations memorized by april and start serving with the sencond saturday thing at the church.
Hopefully my friends will be there with me.
I don't think God really cares what i do. But i don't just want to give money away to some organization. I don't want to give food to the food banks and then leave. I want to look in the eyes of the homeless or the hungry and see Jesus cause thats where he lives. And hopefully in doing so God changes me. If you have any ideas on places to volunteer please tell me. and if you guys want to be a part of this "revolution" and you want to get in the game i'll be happy to have you guys be with me.
I love you All. <3
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